Cider And The Bearded Lady
My tale of meeting the bearded lady,
was so popular, I have had requests for more. The usual question is, did I see her again? Well I was as intrigued as everybody else,something drew me back,I fought it but had to go back ,even if it meant driving fast past the barn.
Remember I saw her selling cider in the
barn, she had a beard all right,and
when she fell off the farmhouse table
I saw her knickers I ran for it.
However I do not like running from
difficulties, I prefer to stand and
face them, to stand and face the things
I fear.
Well I tried to put all this out of my
mind, but when I had a call, from an
old client, to refurbish his new
cottage outside of Broadway,I knew that the cottage was near the cider barn.
Like several months before I drove along the same road. Fear mounted inside me but I bravely battled on. The barn loomed ahead, there was nothing for it but to continue. With trepidation I parked the car and stared at the roof of the barn. The words ‘cider’ were still painted crudely. Then I saw her, as I looked over our eyes connected and she winked at me. I paled which only made the crone cackle. She took a sharp draw on her pipe and coughed.
Slowly I opened the car door, my hand shaking. She motioned me over and my feet felt like they were weighed down. Somehow I made it over, she offered me her pipe and I politely declined, barely audible. She had obviously been drinking, the smell of alcohol, strong tobacco and body odor permeated the air.
A welsh dresser was perched at the side of the barn. ‘A bottle of cider please’. The words sounded strangled and she cackled before spitting on the floor. ‘Be warned’ she said inbetween her laughs before raising her finger to point at me. ‘Any person you think ugly will be transformed into the most desirable person you have ever seen.’ I gulped and was turning to leave when she grabbed my shoulder. Frozen in my tracks I turned round. ‘That is until the morning.’ cackling once more I managed to escape her grip and fled to the safety of my car. Once there I sped away instantly regretting buying the bottle and having once more come into contact with one such as she.
Want to find out more about welsh dressers, then visit Michael Hughes site and find a matching farmhouse table that blends together well.
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