Dating Fail In San Jose
Hunting For The Great Female
Just because us guys have a license to hunt for attractive females doesn’t mean we will. It takes guts and skill to bring in the big game. It takes ultra alpha male power. You never know which one of these human females are safe to approach. It can be like hunting for a dangerous man eating beast. The thousands of books and videos teaching us the secret techniques are not enough. Those vicious man-eaters can devour a male ego in three seconds. The more attractive the more risk. One bite of rejection from those beautiful creatures can take weeks to recover from. Some guys never go out again. Some actually defect from the male population. It is a dangerous sport and the ultimate fear factor.
Yes, I have had some success capturing those elusive beauties. It can be great for the male ego to out shoot those puffed up gangsters and cowboys at the club. It is a great prize to bag a phone number or even come home with a nice rack. It earns an unspoken respect and envy from those losers who struck out at the plate.
The problem is it’s a dangerous sport. Most of time these women run in packs. There is no helmet to protect a guy from those painful words, “No thank you.” There are no pads thick enough to handle, “Well, nice meeting you.” (1 minute after meeting) No one likes to crash and burn in front of your snickering friends and a table of pretty women. It’s just embarrassing. So what do you do?
Well, a lot of guys resort to the ‘courage in a bottle’ thing. Yes, getting tanked enough may reduce some of the sting if she bites, but your breath stinks and you sound like an idiot. To approach a woman properly a guy needs to have his head clear. She can smell fear in a guy 20 feet away. A woman reading this might say, “just be yourself.” Oh, sure. Well, what if I am a laid off postal worker with an attitude? So that doesn’t work. Being myself rarely consists of approaching a table of women and asking one of them to dance. I can tell you it is an awkward moment when they look at each other like, “Oh brother. Another desperate weirdo trying to get a one night stand.” Damn, my cover was blown! But still the hunt must go on.
Catch and Release
I was living temporarily in San Jose, California. The Silicone Valley. It was only for 6 months so I didn’t know anyone. A guy gets lonely and bored. So I decided to go out to a popular cowboy bar. The place was loaded with people. Pretty much the males out numbered the women 15 to 1. That is not good odds for a non-cowboy, non-gangster, and new kid on the block kind of guy.
I was checking this place out when I noticed a very attractive Latina woman. She had a great body and she knew how to flaunt her stuff. She was sitting on a stool looking half bored while three other guys were trying to hit on her. As I walked by she smiled at me and gave me that ‘I could eat you alive’ sort of look. Well, I just had to step over and meet this hot tamale. I told her she was very pretty. She had an interesting and sexy accent. I thought she might be Brazilian or something. We talked for a while and I told her that it would be nice to get together sometime. She said she would like that. So we set up a dinner date a couple of days later. We exchanged numbers and I left.
I was so excited to meet a cool friend and very cute. I got my cool mini-van all ready and cleaned up. I got my best cologne. Made dinner reservations. I was going to razzle-dazzle this little Silicone Valley honey. On my way to pick her up she calls me on my cell phone.
“Hey. How’s it going?” I said. “I should be there in about 15 minutes.”
“That sounds fine,” she said. “But there’s something I have to tell you.”
I’m thinking, ‘Oh great. She is probably married or has a boyfriend or whatever.’ “What do you have to tell me?”
“I’m not a woman,” she said.
“What?”
“I’m not a woman.”
By now I’m starting to swerve all over the street. I had to pull over. “You’re not a woman!!…Then what are you?”
“I’m a man.”
“But you have breasts!”
“They’re implants.”
Now my head is going into hyper retreat mode and shock. She must have sensed me losing interest. She said, “In a month I am going to have my penis removed.”
“Uhh..” I seriously did not know what to say, but I will not forget what she said.
“Do you have a problem with that?” She asked me.
“Hell, yes I have a problem with that! I can’t believe this! Sorry. I’m going to have to call this off.”
On my way home I thought, ‘I should just go over there and kick her balls in. Save here some surgery expense.’ Man, how gross. I suppose I should be grateful. At least she gave me some heads up before it was too late. (No pun intended)
Love Life Lessons:
1. In California things are not always what they appear to be. It is amazing what they can do with silicone and plastic.
2. Don’t judge a person or a book by its cover. Also, In California cowboy bars the geldings look just like mares.
3. If it looks too good to be true, then you are probably right.
4. There are worse things that can happen to a guy than female rejection.
Live Life by sailing through the storms of life with an experienced captain at the wheel. This site is dedicated to give you an anchor to Be Brave, Be Encouraged, Avoid Bitterness, Show Forgiveness, Love and Loss, Heal a Hurt Heart
categories: Dating the wrong kind of person,Dating nightmares,Advice For Men on a date,Pick up Pointers for men,Date Gone Bad,Dating Challenges for Men,Date From Hell,Tips on Dating,Advice For Men on a Date,Men and Romance,Romance,Dating,Lust
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