Never Trust A Friend When There Is A Hot Chick At The Table
Okay, so my ex best buddy Roy and I decided to hang out at a local hot spot in Spokane, Washington. (‘Hang out’ is man code for checking out pretty women) We were there for a little while but I didn’t see anything that didn’t look like a tweeker on drugs. Then this beautiful Latina lady walks in, orders a drink and sits down by the band. She is by herself, she is a great dancer, and very sexy. The whole damn place is looking at her including myself. I thought I have to meet this hot tamale. I am an okay dancer (see picture) so I asked her dance. She was fine with that. I did my best white guy stuff with a black R & B band. We had fun and she seemed to like me. We danced a few more songs. We were connecting and I thought I was doing pretty well with her. Then out of flipping nowhere some ex looking guy shows up and starts talking to her. He’s giving her that ‘Oh, I caught you’ kind of look. Then she gives him that ‘Oh damn, you caught me’ kind of look. Sure enough she is involved with this guy. But she tells me that it is nothing. She “doesn’t want anything to do with him”, “He’s a jerk”. But still she lives with him and sleeps with him. Okay. Right, Chica. Whatever you say.
The main thing is she wants me to call her so she gives me her phone number. I put it into my phone. Of coarse my buddy, Roy needs to be in on my party with sexy Latina Mary. I guess my ex best buddy, Roy thought I needed a little help. So he sits down in his drunk-ass state of mind and decides to seduce and compliment her while I am sitting there! I knew she was good with me; so some drunk ex Mr. Rooter plumber didn’t worry me. I had her number in my bitchen Cricket cell phone. So now we had a future together. Done deal, right? Not quite. My ex-buddy, Roy needed to borrow my phone to call his freaked out girlfriend. I said fine. Then maybe he will leave us alone for a few minutes.
It was cool. We had great conversation. Then she had to leave, but she wanted me to call her later. I told her I would. After she leaves a waitress comes up to the table. “Excuse me, is this your phone?” As she hands me my soaking wet, dead, Cricket Cell phone.
“Yes.What the #$#$#@ happened to it?”
She said, “Someone pulled it out of the toilet. They thought it belonged to one of you two at this table”
Of coarse the first thing you try to do is turn on the phone. No turn on, no numbers, and no Latina Mary.
Roy must have felt bad because he noticed I was poking a fork into my wrist. He said, “Sorry dude. It dropped.”
I have no idea how or why my ex-buddy Roy managed to drop that phone into the toilet…in less than 10 minutes. All I know is Miss Mexico, Roy, and about 125 other phone numbers were flushed out of my life.
Love Life Lessons:
1. Be sure to write down phone numbers as well as storing them in your cell phone.
2. Be careful in loaning drunk people your phone on the way to the bathroom. Ask yourself why does not my friend have their own phone.
3. Don’t believe women who say they cannot stand the guy they live with or married to.
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