My Plan To Help You Scare Your Family Away With Christmas T-Shirts
The holidays are approaching fast, and you are vastly unprepared. I’m not talking about Christmas presents, buddy. I’m talking about your entire home filling up to the brim with family members who you can only stand in small doses. There is nowhere to run, because they are in your home. Like termites, they eat your house from the inside out. There is a plan, though. A devious way to manipulate your family into taking over the job of hosting Christmas, and the key lies in Christmas t-shirts.
You absolutely have to get the ball rolling on this plan right now. There are thousands of terrible, evil Christmas t-shirts you can buy on the Internet by people who hold no regard for the sanctity of the season. You have to make your family believe you are one of these kinds of people.
You love your family, I know. That’s why you don’t want to drive them away forever with something completely awful. You mainly want to make them uneasy around you and instill enough of a shock that they have to consider finding a new place to gather when the next Christmas rolls around. This way, you can always just leave when the stress of your family gets too much…and it probably will.
It won’t take long to find the right offensive Christmas t-shirt to spark a little heat in the old Christmas fireplace. You don’t want to go too far, because they ARE you family, after all. You want to be able to still call and ask for money when you need to. A shirt that reads “Kiss Me Under The Mistletoe” with a sprig of mistletoe directly above your groin may do the trick. A shirt like that could really cause some conflict since it’s not exactly appropriate to wear around little kids…or your family.
When you nonchalantly wear a Christmas t-shirt like this around your family members, then it will most likely spark up a conversation about the appropriateness of your attire. At this point, you just tell them that this is your house and you’ll celebrate Christmas any way you want to. If your parents, sisters, brothers, or aunts want to control how the holiday is celebrated, then they should probably host the family gathering at their home next year. See? All it takes is a little intestinal fortitude and a bit of guidance.
There is a great site about Christmas t-shirts which can be found at Christmas t-shirts where you can see how it’s done right.
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