Please Donate Your Cool T-Shirt So I Can Be Awesome
I am made aware that I am tragically uncool on a daily basis. All I have to do is go out in public, say to a mall, and watch the throngs of young people walk around in their cool t-shirts and designer haircuts. What is even worse, is that they all seem to look exactly the same to me. It’s like I’ve lost my ability to distinguish one face from another. There’s only so many ways you can wear your hair over one of your eyes and be considered “different”.
If you had asked my back in 1986 if there would ever be a day when I would look at people younger then me with squinty eyes and wonder why they were doing what they’re doing and wearing what they’re wearing, I would have laughed right in your face. I was the coolest dude on the planet back then. Why did that statement sound so ridiculous? I feel like I can’t even remember being cool.
People are all the time trying to generalize when this transferal from cool to uncool takes place. They want to say that it’s kids or marriage or a career. I say bullcrap to all of that. I know plenty of married guys with kids and a career who stay as cool as ice all their lives. I’m just not one of those lucky people, and I don’t know why. Maybe I just didn’t try hard enough in the 90′s.
I just want to go visit a pharmacist, look him in the eye, and demand a pill that will cure me of my uncoolness. If we can control acne in teenagers and fight cancer with lasers, then we should darn well be able to take out whatever gene is making me think that Hannah Montana is an idiot. Unless she’s not considered cool…which I’m really not sure about, to be honest.
I am an accomplished professional, I pay my taxes, and I like to think that I live my life to the fullest. Why does that make me one of the people of the world who can’t be cool? Maybe there’s not enough rebellion in my life. Then again, maybe it’s the fact that I refuse to wear those stupid jeans and cool t-shirts that makes me a rebel, eh? Maybe I’m the cool one after all, and all of those kids are the ones who are lame…right? Maybe?
More information is available about cool t-shirts at cool t-shirt to learn more.
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