Snake Bites Back
I have been surprised by many things in my life but finding a crocodile in a mattress beats the lot
It must have been a deep sleep for I could not shake the crocodile off , he chased and chased for ever and ever
The boss who was renown for his miserly nature returned after a short break , They said I looked different, but I settled in when I heard the machines ‘how many Farmhouse tables will they make today’ I thought to myself. I new instantly by the sounds of the air screw drivers how many were being done at any one time, and I knew my presence could up the production a notch or two. The workers were skilled and fast they had made the tables for such a long time that they could make them with their eyes closed,they would have to be able to do that to earn the speed bonuses me,the miser gave them
Anyway on my return I went straight to the assembly area,the workers were hard at it, trying to reach the targets. They were lucky they did not need to go to the gym after work, they were super fit, olympic standard. The pin guns were blasting away and the small wardrobes were coming off the assembly line. Little did Henry Ford know, that his approach to keeping the workers, ‘at it’ would be cut up, and be recycled in such a way. Today it was small wardrobes tomorrow may be the finest cooking French style) or even fly fishing. The manufacturing process was starting, the shelves fixed by secret pocket holes, previously cut by the machinists. Eventually after wax staining the doors were hung and the finished wardrobe put into the dispatch area.
The canteen made a special lunch of,Cumberland sausage peas and gravy,followed by lemon tart and custard, the lemons were so zingy! I ate with some pomp at the far end of the farmhouse table which actually had been made earlier.the chair was old and extremely comfortable, the sort anyone would fall asleep in. But there was a strange noise coming from the pine wardrobe at the far end of the room. I walked over ti see what the noise was, nothing seemed odd, I mean one wardrobe looks like any other wardrobe. I opened the doors, and again the inside of this wardrobe looked pretty much like the inside of any other wardrobe,base shelf hanging RAIL… There was a dirty great big whopper of a snake ,not a tiny little one this one could and would squeeze the life out of you
How can a snake be so fat I shouted out loud,’What’! it seemed to hiss ‘Call me fat’ It went for it like a demented street fighter, fast and furious, coiling, gripping and biting. I grabbed a coffee table,and hit it one, any thoughts of being nice to animals was long gone , this was a fight to the end, the harder I hit it the more it squeezed, until the breath was impossible to suck in, it put its fat head in my pocket and came out with 2 50 notes. I was being mugged by the son of a b.. I poked it in the eye hard and again harder. It slackened its grip, I was out and I kicked bit and karate chopped till it lay confused and in a heap on the floor
I quickly counted my money, it was still there,I almost cried with joy that it was all there. I went back to a boring life, but I had, for the rest of my life, a permanent smirk, and a pair of very colourful shoes.
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